very soon now it will be the time when i may disappear once again...for how long i dont know...but i feel the curtain closing...its all i can do to feign life and control...while in truth i am being devoured...soon it shall be finished...for better or for worse...hopefully i am victorious...but i feel so weak right now...i dont know that i can make it as i have before...my future has become clouded by clouds i cannot disperse...eternity is relentless...and history abhors a paradox...